Motivation

Recently I read a book called "Every Young Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge & Stephen Arterburn. It had a lot of really great concepts, information, & HELP for women in general. But especially for young women seeking purity. I definitely recommend it or any of the other books in the series : " Every Young Man's Battle " " Every Woman's Battle " " Every Mans Battle "


I was so captivated by the book I wanted to share some of the things that stood out for me in my reading. 


Guys vs Girls


Guys are motivated by an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT set of factors than girls are. They are built for visual stimulation. Females are built for relational stimulation, emotional bonding.

Guys:
Driven by physical desires
Crave physical intimacy
Stimulated by what they see
Give love to get sex
Body can disconnect from mind, heart, & spirit 


Girls:
Driven by emotional desires 
Crave emotional intimacy
Stimulates by what they hear & feel
Give sex to get love
Body, mind, heart & spirit intricately connected 


Imtimacy = in to me see


For a woman, the relationship is the prize; sex is simply the price she pays to get the prize.


All temptations are common. And because God creates all human beings as sexual beings, sexual & relational temptations are the most common. 


"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."
 (1 Corinthians 10:13NLT)


Imagine what it would be like when two sexually pure people get married. He has guarded his heart & bounced his eyes (immediately look away at something else), & she is the only naked woman he has ever seen. Can you imagine how amazing she would be to him? And she has never been held so intimately that she knows the smell of any man's skin but his. She has no one to compare his touch & caress to. Guilt free sex! No comparisons. No disappointment. No guilt or shame. 


.. No man should engage a womans heart in the way a husband would unless he intends to marry her. Not just talking about it, like one day. But dating with a purpose & intentionality. Nothing less. Dating one person with the intention of getting married.


A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her  -Lucado


Think of your sexuality as a table. Just as a table has 4 legs that give it balance, our sexuality is also comprised of 4 distinct components that bring balance to our lives. 1) physical 2) mental 3) emotional 4) spiritual. If one of the legs of a table is missing or broken, the table easily loses it's balance & becomes a slide instead. When one of the legs of your sexuality buckles your life can become a slippery slope leading to discontentment, sexual compromise, self-loathing, & emotional brokenness. 


Sexuality is not what you do, it's who you are. It's not about just remaining physically abstinent. Try your best to guard your heart, mind, & body against compromise that threatens your sexual integrity. Seek trusted accountability; a friend who can encourage you. A wise mentor can sharpen you, not judge you. 


John 14:15-17


Masturbation does NOT satisfy sexual desires; it intensifies them. If you give in to your sexual desires through masturbation, you do not gain practice in self control. If you can't control your desires when your alone you definitely won't be able to control your desires when your with someone else. 


ONCE YOU AWAKEN YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES, YOU WILL FIND THEM HARD TO PUT BACK TO SLEEP  ..But not impossible! 


"The only way to kill a habit is to starve it to death." It might be painful but not as painful as letting it rule over you.


1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 
Ephesians 5:3


Our pride says, " God may want me to wait until marriage, but I don't want to. His way takes too long & too much self control. I'll just take care of things myself, my way."


Just because we are tempted, doesn't mean we have to give in. Don't entertain it. Resist. ( Hebrews 4:15-16 ; Matthew 5:27-28 )


If you want to be a young woman of sexual integrity, you may need to let go of some of your freedoms (in dress, thoughts, speech, & behavior) in order to serve the best interest of others out of love. Don't dress to seek make attention, but you don't have to limit your wardrobe to ankle length skirts & turtleneck sweaters either. No self seeking or seductive motives. Your beauty should shine from the inside out. 


Painting a new picture of perfect beauty. "Charm is deceptive & beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" Proverbs 31:30 


"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." (1 Peter 3:3, 4 NLT)


You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.  Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:23, 24 NLT)


In other words: You can do most anything, but it isn't always in your best interest or in the interest of others. Focus NOT on what is 'allowed,' but on what is best for all involved.


Luke 17:2
James 3:5-6